The first-born struggle

by Michaela Zelandi

Despite the cons of being the oldest, I do love getting to lead my own way.
photo by Penny Zelandi

All of the fellow DJ Tanners in the world would understand, being the firstborn in a family, like everything else in life, has its irritations and advantages. 

            I am the oldest of the family with one little sister, Grace, who is thirteen.  As an older sibling, I have always found that at times, I love being the oldest, and at others, I simply detest it. 

            One pro that comes with being the eldest is the fact that you are the one in charge, besides parents of course.  Being in charge comes with the ability to boss your little sibling(s) around, which I probably take advantage of way too much.  If I am just sitting on the couch and am too lazy to get myself a snack, I can always ask my little sister to get me one; the weird part is that most of the time she gets whatever I ask her for.   Maybe that is why older siblings tend to be bossy because they are so used to controlling their younger siblings.

            The biggest con about being the oldest sibling is simply that you are not the “baby” of the family.  I have always been jealous of the youngest siblings because, more often than not, the youngest of a family gets special treatment.  Parents always baby the youngest and they are not expected to take on as much responsibility as the oldest sibling which can be really annoying at times to older siblings.  My sister is not only the youngest in my immediate family, but also the youngest grandchild on my dad’s side which makes it even more irritating.  My aunts, uncles, grandparents and parents all still call Grace the baby and treat her like one too, but she is a teenager!  I guess once you are the youngest of the family you are destined to be the baby forever.

            Since we are not the youngest, older siblings also tend to get blamed for more things than the younger siblings.  Younger siblings can also receive more things, like clothes, than older siblings.  I am always so jealous over the fact that Grace gets all these pretty hand-me-downs for free and if I want new clothes I have to buy them.

            Also, older siblings always have more responsibility than younger siblings, whether it is chores or even to watch their young siblings. 

            Another disadvantage of being the first-born is the fact that you’re the one that has to try everything out first.  You have to go to high-school first, get a job first and make mistakes first.  We are placed we the responsibility of “paving the road” for our younger siblings.  Sometimes, this can be a good thing if we actually really want to do something first, like driving.

            The best thing about being the eldest is that you’re a constant role model for your siblings.  It is nice to know that someone loves you so much that you are who that person looks up to and adores. 

            Being the oldest can be trying, but I would not change it because I do love getting to lead my own way without leaving in the shadow of an older sibling.